My Month-Long Earworm: Autotuning the News

It all started with my hubs saying, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” and me mistaking the expression for something Keenan Thompson performed on Saturday Night Live. I wasn’t aware that it was from a 2012 news report on a fire that broke out in an apartment building, and that some creative guys took the interview of the woman affected, Sweet Brown, and autotuned it to create the smash hit, “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That”. It was an instant hit on iTunes! …In 2012?! Begs the question: Where the hell have I been?

I don’t wanna go to rehab, people, but I just might have to if I can’t stop singing, “Lord Jesus, it’s a fire!” Over and over again. The song is so catchy, I hear it in my sleep!

I got up to get me a cold pop, and I thought someone was barbequein’…
I said, Lord Jesus, it’s a fire, and I ran out, I didn’t grab no shoes or nothin’ Jesus,
I ran for my life!

Not exactly profound lyrics, but I could see myself saying these exact words in a similar situation. The video is pretty funny too.

Anyway, thanks again to my hubs, I have been directed to the netherworld of autotuned news reports on YouTube, including Antoine Dodson’s Bed Intruder song, and Charles Ramsey’s Dead Giveaway. These songs are not Grammy worthy, but they are seriously catchy. I am in the throes of a serious looped earworm where I find myself singing “Hide yo kids hide yo wife hide yo kids hide yo wife” and “We ate ribs with that dude, but we didn’t have a clue...” in the shower, while I cook dinner, clean the fish tank, pump gas…

Hot damn, I think I need help. Do yourself a favour and do not listen to any of these. You’ll have to go to Earworm Rehab too, and ain’t nobody got time for that!


  1. HAHAHAHAHAH! This is our last Christmas Eve!! We watched all of these videos on the big theater system at my sister’s house! Even my 92 year old grandma laughed.


            1. I grip it, I grab it, I don’t want anyone touching my balls.

              The beauty of it is that you don’t have to see the news or know anything about what’s going on. Because it’s about balls, and his hands do the talking as you’ve said!

              Liked by 1 person

  2. My lovely wife always hassles me because she’ll tell me about some person in the news and I’ll say “who’s that?” and it’ll be some major goverment figure or some crap. I don’t follow the news. I burned out on it in the mid-90s as a journalism student, and that was waaaaay before all of this crap they have now. I true do not have time for that.

    Instead, she tells me the major things in ten-second sound bytes and then I know when major things have happened.

    So, I did not know about this video. And I’m not gonna click the links. Radio silence, over here. 😉


  3. Sarca – I’m currently using a browser where the youtube embed has the message “check for updates” for adobe Flash. Thanks for the warning about the earworms, I’ll enjoy the text of your post and skip the adobe updates for now to avoid the dreaded earworm rehab!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am shocked that this post was apparently not inspired by the theme song to the new Netflix comedy Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (which I highly recommend, BTW).

    This is all from the start of the first episode so I don’t consider it a spoiler:

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Let’s sing it in a round. I’ll start:
      Some guys like them round, and some guys like ’em thin….old balls new balls, they’re all different…so you gotta touch ’em, you gotta squeeze ’em…

      Liked by 1 person

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