[For the Love of ‘Fee] Simply Food Signature Blend Medium Ground Coffee

‘For the Love of ‘Fee’ is one coffee-lover’s attempt to machete through the tangle of coffee beans and brews to find an awesome cup of coffee. Juan Valdez follows ME! 🙂

Deets

  • Simply Food Signature Blend Medium Ground Coffee
  • Bought August 30, 2014 at Shopper’s Drug Mart, Tenth Line and Main St, Stouffville, ON
  • Percolated using a Hamilton Beach brand electric percolator, cold water from the tap and basket paper filter inside the coffee ground reservoir to prevent grounds from getting into the brewed coffee.

Description

Simply Food is a Shopper’s Drug Mart signature trademark. For anyone who isn’t from Canada, Shopper’s is an ubiquitous store, like Walmart. If you have a strip mall in any neighbourhood in any small or big town, chances are you have a Shopper’s Drug Mart.

Shopper’s sells prescription drugs, health products and food. I never thought twice about seeing if they sold coffee until one weekend when they had a wicked sale on toilet paper and kleenex that I passed by the coffee aisle and noticed their selection of coffee. Their Simply Food Signature Blend Medium coffee was on sale – $4.99, down from $6.97. Why not…

The beans come pre-ground in a dark brown foil bag. The label shows a serene photo of a café, next to a street light. The coffee boasts a “smooth and balanced flavour” right on the package.

First Impressions

The ground beans look like what medium beans should look like, but they smell, frankly, of burnt skunk. Yup, you read that right. Pepe Le Pew has come over for coffee. That image of a café should really be a picture of a farmer’s field…or my back yard…I don’t think I need to tell you what a turn-off that is. Since these beans came pre-ground, I am hoping the smell is different upon percolation.

How It Smells and Tastes

The brewed coffee smells less of Pepe Le Pew and more of old leather. It tastes of burnt coffee, and worse: the aftertaste of skunk sticks to the back of your throat long after the last drop. Those with sensitive taste buds need not try.

Worth the Price?

Don’t buy Simply Food Signature Blend Medium Ground coffee. There is better coffee out there!  This one was terrible!

3/10

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19 comments

    1. Hey, you never know…maybe there’s a dark horse…I’ll try them, then exclude them. And there are actually pretty good brands sold at Shopper’s at a discount. Just, their sig brand isn’t great.

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      1. I guess you’re right. I fully realize that Shoppers doesn’t roast its own beans. They were probably done by Folgers or Maxwell House, not that this would make me want to try it more. But perhaps I’m a bit of a coffee snob.

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  1. You have upped the cupface stakes! So great.

    I can’t say I’ve ever bought coffee at a Shoppers, but that’s not to say it hasn’t happened if they ever had those big vats of Folgers or Maxwell House on super sale for our in-a-pinch stash. I have a Shoppers less than a block from my house, I can see it from my kitchen window, and I hardly ever go there. Except they are also a postal outlet. Saves me having to find parking downtown just to mail stuff.

    I think I may have solved the mystery of this coffee: they’re repackaging Staryucks as a Shoppers brand! Same burnt nastiness, same eau de skunk and old leather, same everything. Although Staryucks also has a whiff of having been wiped through someboy’s ass as well, and you didn’t mention that for this one here. But it’s close enough. Conspiracy! You can buy Staryucks coffee for less than half the price at Shoppers!

    Liked by 2 people

        1. Oh ho ho! This wins the comments for the day!

          Also, I said there ought to be an ass component! Maybe it really is Staryucks coffee for less, in a different bag! Or maybe it’s the hand-me-down Staryucks coffee they won’t sell in their store for whatever reason.

          It’s the ass that cinches it!

          Liked by 1 person

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