Road Tripping Part 3: When All Else Fails, Blame Hamilton, ON

When Hamilton, Ontario comes to mind, I often think of one of the most fun times I have ever had.

In July 1996, I took the long greyhound bus ride from my home in London, Ontario to Hamilton. I went to visit my friend from UWO, Jenn, who had left London and moved in with her boyfriend to a highrise apartment in Hamilton. Jenn and I both have birthdays in July, so the trip was to celebrate. It was during this trip we both spontaneously decided to cut off all our hair super short. Having spent years with long hair, I had just cut about six inches off into a chin-length bob two weeks prior, and I hated it. My hair is fine with a natural curl, and with London’s humid weather, it winged out into a fro. I was itching to cut it all off and start over. Jenn, forever a chameleon without fear, decided she’d buzz hers off; my sights were on a pixie cut. On top of new ‘dos, we went dancing, went shopping downtown (I bought an awesome leather jacket at a little consignment shop) and just had a great time…That was a fun trip. Great memories!

In the last couple of years though, I have gone to Hamilton only wanting to immediately leave it. When we visit the hubs’ grandmother in nearby Waterdown, Ontario, we often cut through Hamilton to take her out to eat. Every time we’ve driven through, there has been some type of serious construction or gridlock. The navigation through the town stresses me out, and I seriously feel disoriented driving there.

Hamilton is home to a gaming shop that seems to elude us – 1 Up Games. Every time we have made the attempt to drive by this store, the place is locked up tight, almost giving the impression the store is closed down. Except, I know it isn’t: 1 Up Games is often present at gaming conventions, and were even featured in one of the Game Chasers’ YouTube videos recently. What’s the deal, then? I know what it is now: Bad timing.

My husband and I had Monday, June 30 off from work. The hubs cooked a plan of taking a day trip to Hamilton with his sights on 1 Up Games. He checked the store’s website – open Mondays – why not go? I wasn’t as anxious to hop in the car and head to Hamilton…I had a nagging feeling it was going to be a wild goose chase. But, I was a little bit interested in a road adventure…so after a bit of convincing, I said okay.

A word about navigating – I blow at it. I also don’t like to drive in unfamiliar places, but it’s the lesser of two evils. The hubs is much better at figuring out a map and where to go. With that in mind, I drove, while he led us through the one-way streets of Hamilton using our TomTom GPS.

This day, we took the 401 through Toronto which can make you steely at best. Then down the 427 to the QEW. The drive is not that interesting, if a little heavy on traffic at times. Before we knew it, we reached Hamilton with little fanfare. It was when we came upon 1 Up Games that this trip started turning into a foolish game. Driving by, we noticed their storefront security bars were up.

“It looks closed down,” I said. Shit!

I offered to stop the car so we could have a closer look. We turned into a Metro parking lot and walked the short distance to the store. Sure enough, it was closed. A handwritten sign was taped to the door that said the store was closed for the Canada Day long weekend. Canada day this year fell on a Tuesday. As such, many places, including where I work decided to shut down on the Monday to make it a nice 4-day weekend. I don’t begrudge any business that wants to take time off – not at all. But would it kill these businesses to post a message on their website that they will be closed? I said to the hubs that perhaps we should have called ahead? We’ll take partial blame for driving an hour for nothing, but I can’t deny that I was irritated by this turn of events. Damn!

After that, I was itching to disappear from Hamilton; Cut and run.

The hubs said 1 Up Games has another location in Hamilton that we should check out before we leave. He suggested we do a drive-by and try to find the place. While we’re at it, let’s check to see if we can hit up a Value Village on the way. Maybe we’ll find a place to eat. He concluded with optimism, “Let’s try to turn this trip around! And if nothing works out in our favour, we’ll just blame Hamilton.”

First, we hit up a Value Village that was supposedly on the way to 1 Up Game’s other store. Value Village is situated in a strip mall that has a Harvey’s and a bookstore called the Gospel Lighthouse nearby. It was a decent-sized thrift shop, but we didn’t find anything. We continued down the road toward the other 1 Up Games, relying on the GPS – big mistake. Not only could we not find the second location, we ran out of road! The GPS kept telling us that we had reached our destination and to “turn around when possible.” We never did locate this second store, assuming it had closed down, or the GPS had brought up a phantom location as it has done in the past.

Hungry and irritated, we decided to look for a place to eat. Again, similar to our recent trip to Peterborough, our TomTom brought up every single restaurant that ever existed in Hamilton, so we figured we’d forget about using the GPS and find a spot with our own eyes instead.

I somehow drove us to a seemingly familiar location…Stoney Creek, which is a suburb of Hamilton. I was having some serious deja vu! Somehow, we found ourselves at the same location where my friend Jenn lived that summer in 1996. It was the scene of the crime – the Eastgate Square mall – where my chin-length bob got styled into a pixie. There was a huge Fortinos on the corner and apartment buildings close by – my memory snapping me back to that great event where I was brave enough to “cut it all off”.

We turned into the Square and decided to stop at the Jack Astor’s for lunch. We hadn’t eaten at Jack Astor’s in about 10 years – certainly not since leaving Barrie, Ontario – not for any reason other than our preference is more for diners and less for roadhouse-style dining which is Jack Astor’s forte. I had a chicken caesar wrap which was very tasty.

We were almost ready to hit the road home until we discovered that according to the GPS, there is another Value Village to check out! Let’s hit it up!

Following our GPS, we left Stoney Creek and headed towards this other Value Village. We drove for what seemed like forever. Then we came upon the Value Village’s side entrance. We parked the car and walked toward the store’s front entrance. Rounding the corner I felt like I had been here before – there’s a Harvey’s…the Gospel Lighthouse bookstore…Wait a second, We were just at this Value Village earlier today! I just turned around and said, “We were just here…”

Our GPS had basically led us around Hamilton in one big circle back to the same Value Village! We had come from the other direction, not knowing from the side of the building that we had been here before.

I was done at this stage.

“Can we go home now?” I asked.

Defeated, we turned the car around and headed home. Hamilton was a bust. We would later cleanse our bad luck with a trip to Peterborough, which turned out to be excellent. 1 Up Games continues to elude us. We’ll have to plan another trip to Hamilton when the planets are more in line…



        1. I got my license September 11, 1990. Two days after I returned from my month-long exchange to France in July, my mom sent me in to write my 365. Learned to drive over the month of August, and boom! Got my license. You have to know how to drive in Sudbury. The transit system rots and Sudbury is a large city geographically. But, I didn’t get my own car until I was totally out of the house, out of school and working. You?


            1. 16 for both my sis and I. My sis really wanted to learn how to drive right away, and I was meh about it, because I figured my sis would have the car all the time anyway. Turned out, she got a boyfriend with a car. It was cool. Got to take the car to school sometimes and go shopping with it. I generally like driving.


            2. I enjoy the open road more than any type of driving. The start/stop stuff, I can do without. And don’t even get me started on Winter. But, no I don’t mind it. I better not – I commute an hour both ways every day, been doing that for years!


            3. Open road, man, when was the last time I did that? Going to the cottage is not open road anymore, it’s people playing bob n’ weave to pass everybody.


            4. Haven’t seen too much of that. I did have a nasty encounter with an asshole in a pickup truck.

              He flung a cigarette butt out his window, nearly landing on my car, so I considered him someone unsafe to be following. So when I had the chance, I passed. Well as soon as we were side by side he started racing me. That was scary. He let me pass just before I was killed by oncoming traffic. Then I hit that fucking accelerator doing 160 until I was sure I lost him.

              I should be saving shit like that for my future not-RST.


            5. Ooga booga. Fart fart fart. Poopy poopy poopity poop.

              Hey, it was me you asked. Aaron would have said something more mature; HMO something witty. Me, you get toilet humour.

              Liked by 1 person

            6. lol THANKS! I was trying to fix it so that if a comment was previously approved that your comments would pass and not wait for me to approve your comments every time.

              I want to keep that feature up for the spam, etc, but for the regulars like you, Aaron, Scott, 1537…not much point. You guys won’t spam me…Except with fart fart fart lol


  1. I think I’d still probably prefer Hamilton Canada to Hamilton Scotland…

    Oh, and when I view this post on my phone there’s a photo of you with a weird hat on but when I view it on my PC it’s gone! What’s that about?!


    1. Wow, it was on my phone too! It was one of the photos I had posted to my media library, but never attached it to the blog. Weird that’s the pic that would show up…the pic is deleted – I don’t know why it would still be showing up.


    2. BTW the pic was during my friend’s and my birthday celebration at a restaurant. We were ambushed by some friends who thought it was funny to embarrass us, and the restaurant has a pre-birthday plan for this sort of thing where you stand on tables and wear stupid hats (mine had a gorilla and giraffe on it.) you get your meal for free though!


        1. We had one restaurant called Casey’s that used to provide a full free meal (no alcohol though) on your birthday – all you had to do was produce your birth certificate. I don’t think they do that any more though. The bonus was that you didn’t have to endure the fanfare and embarrassment – just eat!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Hamilton has always been one of Dante’s circles of hell, for us. Every single time I have driven there, I’ve gotten lost. I take what I think is the right exit, and then end up on top of the mountain. If we go to Niagara from here, we go straight down 6 to hamilton, then onto the highway to Niagara – you’d think it would be easy. We ALWAYS get the wrong exit, then spend half an hour trying to get where we need to go. Just horrible.

    Or trying to get out of town, you need to follow the road that says towards the west if you want to go east (wtf) to get north. Or downtown, with all those f-ing one-way streets. I swear, whomever designed that town needs a swift kick in the ass followed by about three more.

    My buddy Brian lived in Burlington for years, said Hamilton was easy to navigate. I think for the people who live there, it makes sense. To us outsiders, it’s like a cruel bloody joke.

    The only positive thing that has ever happened to me in Hamilton was i got to see Tool at Copps Coliseum. that was awesome. And I didn’t have to drive, that time. So it was all good.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We got to see Buddy Guy at Copps. It was great that time – parked the car, and walked to a Swiss Chalet. Then to Copps – incredible show! But we hit construction entering Hamilton (same as it ever was).


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